Our fathers: Was yours fun loving or firm, silly or stern? Did he pull your leg, make you laugh, or give you treats…a work ethic…a dream? The wonderful stories and moving memories here show that no matter what kind of dad you had, his lessons still loom large.
Clik here to view.
Does this photo bring back memories of fishing trips with your father? (Credit: Dennis Hallinan/Getty Images)
My father taught me the meaning of having someone “pull your leg.” Dad told me that the way to catch a bird was to sneak up on it and put salt on its tail. So my cousins and I spent hours trying to catch blue jays and chickadees, to no avail. Much later, I realized there was no magic in this trick: If you were close enough to a bird to salt it, you were close enough to grab it!
My dad also advised us kids about fishing: “If it’s winter, and you’re going ice fishing,” he said, “always hold the worms in your mouth for a few minutes to warm them up. Fish don’t like cold food.” I can’t imagine what Mom would have done if we had!
So I was skeptical when he asked me to get a pan of gravel for the chickens to eat. Huh? I had seen chickens eat corn and grain, but I had never seen them eat gravel! But my mom was holding out an old metal pie plate, so I went out to the edge of our dirt road, filled the pan with gravel, and put it in the coop.
To my surprise, the chickens were thrilled! They hopped and pushed one another out of the way, unable to get enough of the gravel bits. My dad explained this as it had been explained to him as a child: “Chickens don’t have stomachs full of digestive juices like we do. They have gullets. They need gravel to rub against the corn
or grain to break it down and get nutrition from the food.”
–Cheryl Lawrence, Springfield, VT
Clik here to view.
Debbi Whitezell will never forget cherished memories of her father, who died at 34.
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, 1950s: My father, Roger M. Whitezell, tragically died at age 34 as the pilot of a commercial plane that crashed into Lake Michigan. I was 16 years old. Even though he passed away so young, he left a legacy of love, memories, and lessons. My mom wanted a daughter to teach baking and sewing to, but I preferred going on hikes with my dad. Once we found a dead porcupine, and he dissected it to show me the organs. I was fascinated! My love of anatomy was born, and decades later, I became a cardiothoracic surgical
nurse.
By teaching me to try new things, my dad enabled me to experience a full life, helping me get over my fear of roller coasters and horses. While his time on earth was short, he lives on in family: My son spent ten years in the Air Force, sharing his grandpa’s love of flying. And I can see his beautiful blue eyes in my oldest grandson. Thank you, Dad!
–Debbi Whitezell, Allison Park, PA
Clik here to view.
Jim Topper bought his father a dream Cadillac.
One Memorial Day weekend in the ’70s, Dad pulled up in his 1964 Chevy Biscayne, with accompanying noise and smoke. It was time to get him a new car. At the local dealer, I spied a huge black Cadillac, with low mileage and in good condition. It was the perfect price and would be a good car for Dad. After all, he was disabled by heart disease and didn’t really drive much. Dad got in the backseat and said, “I’ve always dreamed of having a black Cadillac and a chauffeur.” He handed me the keys, saying, “Home, James!” Dad was thrilled with his new
Caddy and admired it from every angle. Meanwhile, I was making burgers on the grill, and when the charcoal was glowing, I said, “Hey, Pop, check the grill!” Dad walked around the Cadillac and declared, “It’s perfect, not a mark on it.” It took a second to realize the misunderstanding, but we burst out laughing. Sadly, my dad died the next morning. He was only 50. I’ve come to understand that Saturday in May is to be remembered with joy
and gratitude. After all, how many of us are blessed with having our wildest dream come true?
–Jim Topper, Turtle Creek, PA
Clik here to view.
Jeff Morden’s dad, Kenneth, when he worked as a milkman in 1936.
The summer I turned16, I told my father I was going to the cherry-canning plant to get a job. Without any hesitation, he said, “You need to pack a lunch.” I thought, Why do I need a lunch when we live so close to the canning plant? But I said nothing, packed a lunch, and took it with me.
When I arrived at 6 a.m., 15 men were already sitting on a bench waiting to get a job. Then one of the company trucks pulled up, and the person in charge of hiring came out of the front office. He looked at everybody and said, “Who has their lunch?”
I was the last person on that long bench, and I raised my hand. He said, “You’re hired. Get in this truck, and go with these men.” I realized that my father had prepared me for getting the job without my knowing it. I turned out to be a very good worker, and every summer, as soon as I walked into the employment office, I was hired immediately.
–Jeff Morden, San Martin, CA
Clik here to view.
Patricia Vivardo’s father owned and managed his own five-and-dime store.
Before malls and discount stores, everyone shopped in their own hometown. My father, Jim Calabrese, owned and managed Jim’s Variety, a five-and-dime store in Des Plaines, Illinois, from 1953 to 1959. He sold toys, novelties, coloring books, crayons, Fruit of the Loom underwear, houseplants, and oil cloth.
When I was ten years old, I was in the fifth grade at a Catholic school, only a block away from Dad’s store. Some days, I would stop at the store after school to get help with my homework.
Eventually, Dad let me work there. He taught me how to be organized and keep the store tidy. He also showed me how to operate the old-time cash register and make change. More important, he taught me how to talk to people and treat them with kindness.
Since my father put in long hours to support his family, I am so thankful to have spent this time with him. I will cherish these memories forever!
–Patricia L. Vivardo, Cary, IL
5 More Lessons From Dad:
Dad Always Said, “Time Is Precious”
My father taught me the value of work: There is joy in a job well done. He also taught me the value of time: Don’t waste it. In fact, don’t waste anything. I can’t sleep late now without hearing my dad in my head saying, “Hit the deck! Up and at ‘em! What’s on your schedule today?” Pop also taught me that truth, love, and sweet memories are more dear than money.
–Patricia Lutz Robison, Casper, WY
Dad Always Said, “Think About How Important You Are”
When I was nine and playing a game of mushball, the ball caught me right in the face, knocking out my three front teeth. My new grown-up teeth! What followed was several months of severe teasing by all my playmates. After I ran home in tears quite a few times, my dad picked me up, cuddled me in his lap, and said, “Think about how important you are! They had to stop playing to tease you.” After that, teasing never bothered me again. Dad was my hero.
–Helen Thorne-Carroll, Hot Springs, AR
Dad Always Said, “Carry Presents in Your Pocket”
Our dad’s word was as good as gold—if he said he would do something, you could be sure he would. His wife and children were his first priority and remained so until the end of his life. On paydays, which were Fridays, my sisters and I knew there would be a little surprise for each of us in one of his pockets. It wouldn’t be anything big—a small rubber ball or a package of bubble gum or candy—but he never failed to bring some little thing to please us.
–M. J. Tryon, Nassau, NY
Dad Always Said, “Stop for the Cars”
My dad taught me to always wait until the cars passed before crossing the street. Why? Because it didn’t cost me anything to wait, but it cost them every time they had to stop. This was back when gas cost 25 cents a gallon!
–Goldie Damron Poe, Las Vegas, NV